Head.SmackOnTable();

A couple of weeks ago, I was a retard, and made my keyboard drink some pepsi. Realising I was a moron, I ran it under a tap (after unplugging it), but it still was rather funky to type (the R key would do tab, then r…and tab would do 5 tabs in a row before simulating someone pressing the caps lock).

So I decided to decimate it and see what was up.

Heres whats inside a top of the range Microsoft Natural Keyboard:

After cleaning it out with compressed air and making sure the membrane thingy (With all the dots and the lines thing) wasnt stuck to the keyboard base (As it was with the R and tab keys), I put it back together.

After an hour of looking where I missed a screw out, I managed to put it back together, and its working perfectly!

Its even worse when your car is doing it while your pegging it down a dual carriage way at 50mph…

Not sure what happened – I could remember smelling something burning, but I didn’t think much of it (I had both windows down, so could have easily been that) – then I notice my windows start fogging up – that’s not a good sign – and then I see white smoke rising out of the air vent next to the wind screen – that’s an even worse sign.

So I panic, pull myself off the road in a safe manner, and call MINI emergency services – half an hour later, a BMW mechanic in an estate pulls up behind me and asks me questions about the car, then starts sniffing around the engine. After muchos trouble shooting, he works out its a heating radiator leak, and the smoke is the antifreeze burning on hot engine parts – he said that would also explain why the floor mats are wet (never figured that out).

He arranges me to take the car to Cooper Wimbledon to have it serviced, which they promptly sort me out and basically steal my car and run tests on it and violate it in ways I never thought possible.

2 days later, they ring me up and say Its all done! Yay! They had to replace the heater matrix, the radiator, and did a coolant replacement for all the coolant that went burny burn. And they valet’ed my car, and washed it for free!

Its nice and shiny now!

Nottinghamshire police have apologised to a family who had to wait three hours after dialling 999 when an armed gang forced their way into their home.

Source – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/7372106.stm

Nottinghamshire police HAVE ADMITTED THEY CANNOT PROTECT YOU. So why cant we have the right to defend ourselves? If you have a weapon and "use it in a threatening manner", you face prison, but criminals can just run around robbing people blind because they know the police cannot do anything.

We should have a right to be able to use firearms to defend ourselves.

And there is a simple test you can do to prove this – Would the armed gang have forced their way into the couple’s home, if they knew they were armed to the teeth? No, of course not.

If I had a legal firearm, and people broke into my house, this would have went down in one of two ways – I would have challenged them, told them to put down their weapons. If they accepted that, fair enough, I would let the police know. If not, I would shoot every one of them, and make sure they were dead. Yes, that involves shooting them in the head and in the chest while they are down. This way I can guarantee that they will NEVER harm anyone ever again.

This country’s police force is incompetent, they are more focused with drivers doing 35mph in a 30mph road at 3am (Who knows! Maybe a kid would run out in the middle of the road!), and giving out fines to people who "drop litter" (a piece of a sausage, that was eaten by birds in a matter of seconds), than do something about crime.

The country’s Crap Prosecution Service, who are known as flat batteries – because they always say "No Charge", and who charge and prosecute innocent people. How do I know this? Because I was one of them. I was cycling home one day, when a drunk fuckwit decided to try and kick me off the bike. I stopped nearby, called the police, while I was doing this, fuckwit and his boyfriend decided to chase me to give me a kicking – I cycled away at speed, and jumped a red light, that was caught on CCTV. I was arrested when I went to the station and was offered a formal caution – I told the police officer to shove his caution up his arse (my exact words) – and appeared infront of the magistrate the day after. The magistrate agreed with me, that jumping a red light on a bike, while being chased with 2 guys with knifes was acceptable.

"Community fixers", who deal out underworld justice on the behalf of clients, are being used instead of police, a senior policeman has said.

Source – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7370244.stm 

If there was a "Community Fixer" in the area, id have his number on speed dial. Id have a deal with him, ill scratch his back, he’ll scratch mine.

Feral kids are running around this country, and no one can do anything about them. Police cant touch them "I know my rights" they scream, citizens cant touch them.

Sooner or later, there are going to be more "Community Fixer"’s than police. And that’s when the fun happens.

Yes, yes, I know that Resharper 4.0 is still in the pre beta crappyness muchos error stage:

But I just love Resharper too much, its the best tool around for speeding up development with Visual Studio. If you don’t have it, I suggest you go grab it now!

Anyway, back to my point with refactoring. I am writing a simple website (maybe with facebook capabilities, not sure yet) to display random quotes from GLaDOS – the senile deranged computer from "Portals" – I’m sorry if you don’t like her, I think she’s great, with excellent quotes such as

The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

And my favourite:

Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund for Girls? It’s true!

Anyway! Keep going off a tangent. Resharper speeds up development of an application, and the way I seem to work, is I write the code, then refactor it to make it all shiny and proper. We go from this:

To this:

Via:

And other assorted Resharper menu items – the quickest (I find) is to use Control-Shift-R which will allow you to dynamically use a "Refactor this" menu that will pop up, and give you only the valid things you can do with Resharper (instead of a very large list with things greyed out, like in the menu).

Im currently running Resharper Nightly build #783 – it dosent seem too bad, but it still has errors. Unlike Derik, I cant leave Resharper (arguably the love of my life) alone, I want to feel her up and touch her inappropriately. Im not that fussed by the fact that she doesn’t have manners, or farts uncontrollably in bed, I still love her.

If you have visited the Sky.com site from Monday, you might have noticed the following:

Sky Motoring has gone live!

I saw an old man (over 70), Asian looking (turns out hes from Bangladesh), in the full Ihram kit – he was going to Umrah (minor pilgrimage, its not required like the Hajj, but you can go whenever you want to do it, as opposed to just going when its Hajj.

I felt a bit sorry for the guy, as he didn’t realise that you don’t have to wear it immediately after leaving the house, but when you reach the Miqat – the pilgrimage boundary which is a about 200km around Makkah.

A small note – some Sunni’s say that you should perfume your body when you enter the state of Ihram – they are wrong, as perfume is one of the 25 “banned” things.

*Edit – I stand correcte d – it turns out, that if the flight goes over the boundaries of the mosque (a few hundred km in each direction), you still have to be wearing the full Ihram kit, so thats a possible reason to be wearing it on the plane. My dad had to do the same a few years ago, when he flew from Kuwait.